Murdercise (2023)


REVIEWER RATING: 
7/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


I love the 80’s. Like, I REALLY, REALLY love it!!! Fashion, music, Blockbuster, Atari…we had it all. Including aerobics!  

Murdercise begins with a typical 1980’s horror spoof as we immediately meet pretty Tatiana taking a shower, only to hop out after hearing a noise in her empty house.  Instinctively calling the police, she soon faces a bloody demise in a Scream-like/Drew Barrymore form. Poor thing.  

Welcome to the crazy, campy Murdercise! An exaggerated version of sexually charged spandex-wearing aerobic chicks, hired to make an exercise video through the sleazy direction of Gino. While the stereotypical girls are all in place (a stripper, a porn star, a mafia bad-ass, etc.) there’s always that one goody two shoes who steals the thunder. Give it up for the ultra plain-Jane, Phoebe, who clearly wants to be the exercise queen bee, but cannot find her voice amongst the inconsiderate and silicone enhanced clique. It doesn’t help matters that her day job is a selling corn dogs at the mall. Not very glamorous.  

To maintain her status as head of this skimpy, low-budget project, the very busty Candy tries to entice “filmmaker” Chuck (portrayed by the ever-cuddly and comical Drew Marvick) in a private office. Within minutes, Candy’s shrieking “Look at my tits” to the point that made ME want to kill her. Luckily Phoebe interrupts this seedy seduction and basically takes care of Candy herself.  

After all the continued taunts and put downs by the rest of the gang, Phoebe turns from Sandra Dee to Greased Lightening and the workout studio begins to flow with bloody pulp.

While Murdercise isn’t a “who done it?” movie, it’s more of a farce on “how many are doing it?” when the Skid Row Stranglers from the beginning, make their debut at the shoot. Hmmm…. collaboration or competition with little Phoebe now?

Cheesy? Yes.
Fun? You betcha.

OVERALL: 
“Murder isn’t supposed to be fun. Sometimes, it’s necessary. Just business, baby.” I beg to differ. Just check out the chainsaw scene in all it’s fabulousness and you’ll change your tune. Add in the delightful Ginger Lynn Allen, and you’ll feel instant nostalgia for this flashy time period. Playing homage to this decadent decade of glamour and glitz had its share of missed opportunities, though. I wanted more florescent, more parody and more 80’s lingo. I am still debating which is more disturbing – seeing Chuck wear a neon fanny pack, or in a women’s body suit and headband? No matter as both were totally gnarly.


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